The hardest thing I found about writing memoir wasn’t what to put in, it was accepting that life will keep changing after the final page. In light of The Salt Path saga, I been wanting to add my opinion for a while now – not on the book/movie, but on the process of writing memoir; the truth, the memories and recollections, the expectations of readers, and the stuff you leave out to protect yourself and others.
We read memoirs not because they give us polished, happily-ever-after endings, but because they show us what it means to be human. Writing memoir is more complicated than facts alone. It’s about honesty in the moment. When I wrote my travel memoir, I was still married. My separation didn’t come until five years later. Does that make Dare to Travel Solo less true? No. It was the truth as I knew and lived at the time. And I really wanted to stay true to the story as it was. Writing memoir while life is still shifting is messy, but it’s also deeply real.
The question is: how do we stay true to the story without oversharing, and without trying to write the ending before we’re there? Especially as when you’re writing, and you don’t even know where life is heading.
Memoir is not an autobiography
It’s a snapshot of life from a specific perspective, at a specific time. When I was learning about writing memoir I read lots of them. Some were a year, some were a trip like mine, others were through a challenging time or illness. They’re not your life story from birth to old age.
My story was my story, my memories and my spin on what happened. We’ve all had moments recollecting things that happened in our childhood, and a sibling, parent or friend will say, that’s not how I remember it. It highlights how a single moment can deeply affect one person but mean little to another.
For me, I wanted to keep in the truth at the time of my trip. I was retelling a story, and to influence it with stuff that was happening years on would be skewing the memory. A bit like telling a story of 16-year-old you but inputting the wisdom and knowledge of your 45-year-old self.
One of my favourite solo travel moments - finding the perfect beach in Hvar, Croatia.
Writing memoir can be messy or not
Memoir isn’t about airing dirty laundry; it’s about making meaning from experience. I really wanted to share my journey of growth and transformation from that trip. It was so life-changing on so many levels, that I still wonder what life would be like if I had pulled out.
A friend told me, if you share private things, they’re then out in the world and you lose control of them. It can read like gossip, and it would be my side of the story. Elizabeth Gilbert said in Eat, Pray, Love that the story of her marriage breakdown wasn’t for sharing, and would be unfair on her ex-husband. I agree.
A writing friend said, Would it add to the story, or is it venting? If it’s the latter, keep it in your journal.
Mary Karr, the author of The Art Of Memoir, left me with the lasting impression that if you’re writing a memoir for revenge: Don’t!
Right from the beginning, I chose to write with grace. My future self is hugely relieved that I stuck to that decision.
The truth of memoir is that life will change, relationships will evolve, and hindsight may add layers. That doesn’t make your memoir less true. Readers are after authenticity, and not perfection. It’s capturing the emotional truth as I saw it at the time. As I’ve learnt since, sometimes when you are so deep in a relationship you can’t actually see what’s going on anyway until you leave and have the space to reflect.
The photos don't lie - I was in my happy place!
Advice for Aspiring Memoir Writers
Learn from others: I used Fast-Draft Your Memoir: Write Your Life Story in 45 Hours, by Rachael Herron as a roadmap for writing my memoir. Her step-by-step guide was the perfect tool for me to build my story on. Her guidance and wisdom on what makes a memoir work were priceless. Working through her process, meant that by the time I got my tenth draft to my editor, it was looking in pretty good shape.
I also joined a writing group, listened to podcasts - The Creative Penn and Rachael Herron's podcast, blog and newsletter - and I googled A LOT.
Be present: capture the truth of who you are and what you know at the time of writing.
Accept incompleteness: the story doesn’t need a tidy resolution.
Write with respect: hold your dignity and others’ privacy while still being real.
Remember: readers are drawn to authenticity, not perfection.
Now to write the next travel memoir!
Memoirs are not final verdicts on a life. They are simply a glimpse into moments of courage, bravery, insight, and humanity.
My role as the author was not to predict the future but to honour the past as I lived it, trusting that readers connect to sincerity above all. I hope that Dare to Travel Solo does all of that.
I wrote to show others that being daring comes in all ways – a trip, a move, a departure, a breakup, a change. That we don’t have to accept life as it is. That we should follow our dreams, listen to our gut and instincts, and live (and write) from the heart.
On my tablet, I have two small post-it notes that I taped to the top. They’re a bit tatty now after five years, but they are a constant reminder of where I’ve been and where I’m going.
You are braver than you believe, from AA Milne, You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. And the other quote reads, Change begins at the end of your comfort zone. Roy T. Bennett – a quote that features in my book.
Memoir is not about perfect foresight, nor is it about cataloguing every detail of a messy life. It’s about capturing the truth of a moment with as much honesty and dignity as possible. The stories we write are not invalidated by later events; they remain snapshots of who we were, what we felt, and what we believed. Whether your present is uncertain or your future is unclear, your memoir can still carry the power of truth — not the forever truth, but the truth in time. And that, more than anything, is what readers connect to.
Want to read Dare To Travel Solo: Exploring Croatia and Italy with a light carry-on bag and a ton of determination? Check it out here!
Disclaimer: There are no affiliate links in this post. I share what I love freely. I used ChatGPT to tidy my words up and do titles/SEO stuff – 95% of this is pure me!
